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The "Real Housewives of Beverly Hills" may have an interesting grasp on history, but they're experts at pushing each others' buttons.
Don't hate the player, hate the game (night).
It's part deux of the world's most uncomfortable charades party -- Bravo stretched the verbal sparring over two episodes -- and the zingers are flying like poison darts.
But who takes the worst hit and what's desperate Dana Wilkey saying now that's got the ladies of 90210 laughing behind her back?
It's a tossup for best line of the night, but Brandi Glanville stands her ground with these bon mots directed at Kim and Kyle Richards:
- "She's ... cracked out of her mind."
- "You're the queen of England, and we're all trailer park compared to you."
- "At least I don't do crystal meth in the bathroom all night long."
But Kim scores her own triple-word score with the accusation: "You're a slut pig." If points were being given for insults, these ladies would be racking them up!
The action stops short of any actual fighting, thanks to Taylor Armstrong's dramatic, "No one is hurting anyone in this house" speech -- oddly airing the very same day as an interview in which she says the show may have saved her life.
It's a more refreshing reaction to the craziness than Dana's ladies-who-lunch-life lesson: "Listen, we're from Beverly Hills. We live our life, we do our thing. We don't fight."
Um, if we've learned anything from this "Real Housewives" installment it's that this is not a zip code known for its peaceful outlook on life.
Case in point, Camille Grammer and Kyle smirking at how Dana seems to be bending over backward to fit in. Seriously, shady lady, stop trying so hard!
Finally, the evening ends. And while there continues to be plenty of recapping (Taylor and Brandi chat and chew while Kyle gives her version of events to Adrienne Maloof and Lisa Vanderpump) the show moves on to something other than Brandi bashing.
As Kyle and Kim plan a family weekend in Palm Desert, their first-season feud is revived. "I can never forget the night in the limo," vows Kim. Oops. We had, but it was good to finally get some answers on the house-napping accusations.
Kyle explains that their late mama left the sisters (including Kathy Hilton, whose absence suddenly seems very wise) several properties upon her passing. Kyle bought out Casa Palm Desert from her sisters, a move that Kim later regretted. And that led to the accusations of theft. Flimsy, but we'll take it.
Then again, everyone keeps mentioning their concern for bad-breath Kim, who's literally been swallowing room freshener as if it were mouth spray. Oh crafty Bravo editors, are you just prepping us for another Richards sisters battle royale?!
And if the prospect of a second round of family squabbling wasn't enough, there's Lisa's daughter's wedding, which should take the rest of the season to plan. Especially with bigger-is-better wedding planner Kevin Lee.
He's not just the Asian version of "Father of the Bride's" Franck Eggelhoffer (Martin Short); a quick online search seems to suggest he's actually the inspiration for over-the-top planner. Better get out your checkbook, Ken.
Luckily, everyone manages to keep it classy for Camille's charity luncheon to raise funds and awareness for breast and prostate cancer. Who knew the ladies were even capable of behaving themselves through an entire meal? And even if there were more faux-flower bonnets than an Easter basket, the whole thing seemed fittingly dignified as the former Mrs. Kelsey Grammer honored her cancer-battling mother.
Besides, it's only a matter of time before the barbs fly again.
So who do you want to see go at it next week: Kyle and Kim? Brandi versus the ladies of Bev Hills or Kevin Lee's bogus air kisses versus Lisa's meddling mommy routine? Share your thoughts on our Facebook page!