Susan C. Young writes: Dearly departed narrator Mary Alice always sets up every episode with a tidy theme, and this Halloween, it was all about what people are afraid of.
Mary Alice must be turning in her grave with her horndog widower annoyed he couldn't get his new wife into bed without threatening her. But he may have found his loony town match in Beth, who is one bullet short of a round.
Beth admits to a counselor she married Paul only because she never believed he’d get out of jail. She claims she’s a 30-year-old virgin who recoils at the thought of getting intimate with her creepy mate. Yet, when she calls mommy asking to come home and is told to honor her commitment to Paul, Beth responds by later going Rambo to protect her man.
That's because Susan started channeling her inner Bam-Bam when she discovers Paul ratted her out to the school about her Va-Va Broom side job, and she got canned. Beth comes down the stairs pointing a gun at the rampaging Susan, ordering her to leave. Then Beth gives Paul a passionate kiss.
But can we talk Susan for a minute here? Even the dimmest bulb knows you can’t prance around online in your skimpies without getting caught. Now the equally idiotic Mike packs up for Alaska to make enough money to get their house back. Don’t leave Susan alone, Mike. It won’t end well.
Bad decisions should have been this week’s theme. Bree’s consumed with hot young boyfriend Keith and can’t see he’s got some major anger issues. She figures their respective faults cancel out, but Bree has yet to have good man judgment. Sexual deviants, murderers, she’s done them all.
And Tom’s ill-advised plan to move his doting mom in and help with the baby comes to an abrupt end when he finally accepts she has dementia. He wastes no time packing her off to a home – and he doesn’t even drive her. Way to go, Tom.
Gaby’s fawning over her biological daughter Grace and dismissive attitude toward baby-swap daughter Juanita is getting painful. Juanita knows something’s up, and Carlos won’t have Juanita hurt. As Mary Alice says, the world is terrifying, especially if you have to face it alone.
By trying once again to have everything go her way, Gaby may end up with no one.