Gael Fashingbauer Cooper writes: You know what show I want to see? I want a one-hour special on how the “Dancing With the Stars” partners get assigned. Because I kind of envision it like a Fantasy Football Draft only with more sequins. I seriously suspect the more powerful pros are pulling every string in the book to get a celebrity who looks as if he or she doesn’t have two left feet. You just know that Cheryl Burke and Derek Hough are wielding some mad power to get the almost-always stellar celebs they end up with. (Were the producers mad at Cheryl the year they gave her Wayne Newton?)
I also think some “Dancing” traditions about assigning partners should be thrown out. I like Corky Ballas fine, but they only drag him out when they get a female celeb in her 70s or 80s (Florence Henderson, Cloris Leachman). Yet when Jerry Springer, in his mid-60s, was on “Dancing,” they paired him with “the Wonder from Down Under,” sexy Kym Johnson. Are there no older female pro dancers they can bring back, a la Corky? Or is it that a pro dancer in her 60s might not feel like wearing the slinky garb of the show? I’d also like to see them bring back all the winners to compete against each other, like that “Survivor All-Stars” concept. Drew Lachey, Kelly Monaco, Donny Osmond, Nicole Scherzinger…get ‘em all back.
These are the things I wonder about when there is an hour-long filler show to deliver two seconds of news.
Here are those two seconds: The Situation was sent back to the "Jersey Shore"! He had a star cut into his hair! He made his pecs dance in a truly weird little segment that was kind of like something out of "Popeye"! He called the judges' comments "unpositive!"
Not to be negative, Sitch, but that isn't actually a word. It would be cool, though, if we could just put "un" in front of every word and mean the opposite. The Situation was an ungood undancer.
Other highlights and thoughts:
--Florence + The Machine performed, and it was awesome.
--The skit on "How to get a 10 from Len" was kinda funny, but I could have done without seeing his faked up bare chest, complete with tattoo, in an earlier bit.
--No one can beat Jennifer Grey this year. Her steps are as sharp as scissors.
--Bristol Palin should book that flight back to Alaska for next Tuesday night.
--Who did Tom Bergeron accuse of squeezing his ass? Was it Maks? Bergeron is a dynamite host.
--I find myself starting to think Brooke Burke is awkward and then I remember Samantha Harris.
--Next week is TV Theme Week? They are insane if they don't have Florence Henderson perform to "The Brady Bunch" theme. Here's the story...of a lovely lady...